What does "society" really mean?
And what traps does that entail?
Society is a word that we use to refer to the norm, to the majority, to the status quo. It is a word that is used often, maybe too often. But what does it really mean? And does it hide any inherent risks?
This might sound as a naive thought at first1. Society is used to refer to the majority of people, but that is not as innocent as it might seem. When we use sentences such as "society wants you to behave like this", we immediately and maybe subconsciously, fall into two traps.
The first trap is that we compromise (exactly like the little prince would not like us to do). The compromise is not explicitly stated in these phrases, however it is there. And it is there, because of the way we use them. When saying phrases like "this is the society we live in", which may by the way be absolutely true, we silently accept that this is the current situation and we should make the most out of it, but always within the given framework; within the rules that have already been set for us, by society.
The seconds trap and maybe the most dangerous so far, is that we want to believe that society is faceless, because then we find comfort in the excuse that whatever is happening around us, is not our fault. Hence, it is not our responsibility to try to fix it, or even simply not make it worse. The many have decided that this is how the world works, and there is nothing we can do about it, apart from comply. What good does it make to resist, if nothing is going to change? All that you will achieve, is waste your energy, only to get nowhere. Hence, you might as well follow the current and do something that you don't agree with, or at least that is what you claim, and spend your energy on a more realistic goal, one that will benefit you directly. You don’t even need to say the word society out loud, to hide behind it; think of all the times you did (or didn't) do something because it was not socially accepted. And I am not even talking about important stuff. Maybe you didn’t wear a nice hat, because it was too colorful, even though you love colours; Or maybe you didn’t smile back at a stranger who smiled at you, because that is not cool. Small things that may have been dictated to a certain degree, not by what you really wanted to do, but by what is socially accepted.
At the beginning of this paragraph I wrote that, finding comfort in thinking that society is to blame and not us, is a dangerous trap. The more I write these words, the more it feels like a sad truth, rather than a trap. Because it is not really a trap, if we consciously make the choice to dismiss ourselves from any responsibility. It is the path we decide to take.
I am using the you pronoun, but I should not leave myself out; very few are innocent of hiding their lack of courage behind the word society and I am not one of them. Hermann Hesse talks about the steppenwolf, in his book bearing the same name2. The steppenwolf, is his own cynical, and self-critical self. In the main character’s mind, this part of his psyche has the form of a wolf, hence the name steppenwolf. The main character dislikes social conventions: exchanging pleasantries, smiling to people he doesn’t like out of politeness. Yet, he complies and follows them. And the steppenwolf is always there to remind him of his hypocrisy, of how his behaviour, is the very behaviour he loathes.
A few paragraphs have gone by, and I still haven’t answered the question I posed in the title of this post. I listed a couple of traps we fall into when we use the word itself, but in the end, what is society?
Society is you. And society is I. Society was also Hermann Hesse, while he was still alive. Cambridge dictionary defines society as:
a large group of people who live together in an organized way, making decisions about how to do things and sharing the work that needs to be done.
You can of course consider any large group of people, but for the purposes of this post it only makes sense to consider a group that influences us in some way. The local rowing club can be considered a society3, but if you are not a member of the club, neither socialize with its members, then whatever happens within the limits of that society is irrelevant to you. On the other hand, you are probably also not part of the UK society. But, having one of the biggest music industries in the world, maybe the UK society influences your music taste or even fashion choices. But of course, for most of our every day decisions that are affected by society, society is a group that we are a part of. The country you live in, the company you work for and your group of friends, can all be considered societies. And these are the societies we are mostly interested in here.
Hence, we reach a paradox: society is a word we use very often, and entails certain traps, mainly because we use it to express our inability to change things, and therefore our lack of intention to even try. At the same time however, you and I are part of society, which means that, we also decide and affect how things work. But how can we be both members of our society and at the same time unable to change the very thing we have founded?
To begin with, we are social creatures, hence we want to belong in a large group, i.e. a society. It is a bit like avoiding conflict: If complying to the collective rules, will get us accepted into the group, then we ‘d rather comply, that protest and risk being isolated. So one reason is, we do not want to take the risk of becoming outcasts.
Maybe another reason we feel unable to make any difference, is that not all social votes hold the same weight. I can best explain this with an example: let’s consider again the fashion trends that our society follows. And then let’s assume that both Rihanna4 and I, decide that we would like to change those fashion trends. If we held elections, where each member of the society casted their vote in secret, then both Rihanna’s and my vote, would influence the result in the same way, since they would have an equal weight. Now imagine that we held the same elections, but without casting our votes in secret. Instead, each one of us voiced their preferences publicly on Instagram. Whose vote do you think would be more decisive, mine or Rihanna’s? Rihanna5 would definitely influence more people, because her social vote counts more than mine, i.e. she holds more social equity. And because of that, I might feel that my vote is worthless and won’t make any difference no matter what I vote.
Does it matter however, if I can change the fashion choices of the people around me? Not really. What matters though, is that I do not allow the opposite to happen, i.e. that I do not allow the choices of the people around me, to influence my choices, due to the fear of being a social outcast. And maybe not wearing that colorful hat isn’t the end of the world, but when our opinions on humanitarian matters are steered towards what society believes, then it starts becoming a problem.
I hope you enjoyed this journey through definitions, Hermann Hesse and Rihanna.
Sincerely,
- The Naive Ignorant
Well, you cannot say you haven’t been warned, you are after all reading the Naive Ignorant.
Great book by the way. Not a very cheerful book, mind you. But then again, if you ‘re looking for a cheerful book, Hesse is probably not the right author.
One might argue that a rowing club is a community, and they would probably be correct, but I don’t want to dive into semantics here. Also, in the context of this post, it doesn’t matter that much.
By the way, I have nothing against Rihanna. I just needed to use a famous singer for my example and she was the first one to come to mind.